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10 Boring Habits That Quietly Rebuilt My Life — Transcript

by Seve - Sunny Kind Journey · 2,862 words · 427 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:01When I used to think about life-changing
0:03habits, I pictured something intense,
0:06something
0:07>> [music]
0:07>> challenging, and something that would
0:09feel exciting right from the start. But,
0:12when I look back, most of the habits
0:15that helped me the most were much
0:17smaller, much more ordinary, and even
0:20pretty boring. And I think that is why
0:22they are so easy to miss.
0:23>> [music]
0:23>> A lot of us keep waiting for big change
0:26while missing the little things that
0:28affect your mental state, your choices,
0:30and the kind of life you end up living.
0:32So, in this video, I want to share 10
0:35boring habits and how they ended up
0:37changing my life much more than I
0:39expected.
0:40And the first one was stopping myself
0:43from starting the day with junk input.
0:47I realized that my mind is in a very
0:49sensitive state when I wake up.
0:51Everything feels stronger, almost like
0:5310x compared to the rest of the day. So,
0:55if I start the day by scrolling
0:57Instagram, checking random things
0:59online, watching TV, or reading negative
1:02news like I used to, I can feel it right
1:05away. I go into the day feeling sluggish
1:08and negative. So, I've been pretty
1:10careful about this ever since I made my
1:12first proper written morning routine
1:15back in 2017. At the time, I was waking
1:18up around 6:00 a.m. every morning, and
1:21instead of reaching for my phone, I
1:23decided to study Greek language for
1:25about half an hour while eating
1:27breakfast. I know that doesn't sound
1:29like the most exciting way to start the
1:30day, but it really changed a lot for me.
1:34Back then, it made a lot sense for me to
1:35study it because I was working in a
1:37kindergarten using that language, so it
1:39was a very [music] practical way to get
1:41my brain into that mode early. And that
1:44is kind of the point. Like, it's not
1:46about creating some intense morning
1:48routine or trying to be as productive as
1:51possible from the second you open your
1:53eyes. It is more about not handing over
1:57one of the most, if not the most,
1:59important part of your day to to some
2:01random stimulation. These days for me,
2:04that might just mean reading a few pages
2:06of a book or just sitting there for a
2:08moment before the day starts. It is
2:10simple, kind of boring, but it teaches
2:12your brain that it does not need to be
2:15fed fast stimulation from the moment you
2:17wake up.
2:19Another habit is to go out for a walk
2:21every single morning.
2:24And I actually do this before the
2:25previous habit, so right after waking
2:27up. I actually have mentioned this in
2:29another video before, so I take the same
2:3210-minute route every day, and I do it
2:35without any earphones. It is simple, it
2:38is repetitive, and that is part of why
2:40it has stayed with me so easily. Before
2:42I started this habit, the shift from
2:45sleep into the day felt much more tense.
2:48I would go from being half asleep
2:50straight into doing something, thinking
2:52about things, or taking in information,
2:55and there was no real space in between.
2:57It felt like I was skipping the part
2:59where my body and mind properly wake up
3:02into the day. So, the main reason I do
3:05this is not for some steps or fitness or
3:08anything like that. It is mostly just to
3:10get the blood flowing after the night,
3:13get some fresh air, and start the day
3:15with a bit more presence. Recently, I
3:17have actually played around with what
3:19happens like in my mind during that
3:21walk. So, everything else it is the
3:23same, except sometimes I do a bit of
3:26breath work, sometimes some mental
3:28gratitude journaling, sometimes repeat a
3:30simple mantra, and sometimes I just walk
3:33and let my thoughts be, and then I see
3:35like how was that. And I have to say,
3:37now I cannot even think about starting
3:40my day without this walk. So, it has
3:42become a very important part of my daily
3:45life.
3:46Habit three, I started listening without
3:49rushing to defend my opinion.
3:52In the past, I often saw things from my
3:55own point of view and kind of assumed
3:57that I was the one who had it right.
3:59[music]
4:00So, if someone said something I
4:02disagreed with, my instinct was usually
4:05to explain, to correct, or defend my own
4:08position somehow. Even when I did not
4:11actually say out loud like, "You are
4:13wrong," that was often still the energy
4:16underneath it.
4:17I started seeing how unhelpful that was
4:20when I read the book How to Win Friends
4:22and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
4:25I read it when I was, I think, 19 years
4:28old, and for me, it was one of those
4:30books that really opened my eyes at the
4:32time. It made me see how important human
4:36connections are and how differently
4:38people respond when they feel heard and
4:41respected instead of argued with. There
4:43was one Benjamin Franklin story from the
4:45book that really stayed with me. I made
4:48it a rule to refrain from directly
4:50opposing the opinions of others and from
4:53strongly asserting my own. I even
4:56forbade myself all expressions that
4:58implied certainty or absolute
5:00convictions, such as certainly [music]
5:02and that is so, and replaced them with
5:05phrases like, "As I understand it, I
5:08suppose, I imagine, or it seems so to
5:11me." When someone else made a statement
5:13that I believed to be wrong, I denied
5:16myself the pleasure of immediately
5:18showing it to be wrong, and I began my
5:20reply by remarking that in some cases or
5:23circumstances, his opinion might be
5:26correct, but in the case at hand, things
5:28did not seem quite right, and so on. I
5:31soon noticed the advantages of this
5:33change in my manner. All conversations
5:35went more pleasantly. My modest way of
5:37presenting my opinions caused them to be
5:40received more readily and stirred up
5:42less opposition. I felt less humiliated
5:45when I found out to be wrong, and I
5:47found it easier to get others to give up
5:49their mistakes and agree with me when I
5:51happened to be right. And yeah, some
5:54people might hear that and think it
5:56sounds soft or weak, almost like a lack
5:58of confidence. But, for me, becoming
6:01less certain and more open has helped me
6:04make many better changes in life. I
6:07realized I actually do not know that
6:09much after all, and that is a much
6:11better place to live from. It does not
6:13mean not having any opinions. It just
6:16means holding them a little more
6:18lightly, so you still leave room to
6:20understand, connect, and grow.
6:23Habit [music] four, I review my life
6:26once a month.
6:28At the end of each month, I sit down and
6:30look honestly at the main areas of my
6:32life and ask myself a few very simple
6:35questions, like, "What went well? What
6:37did not go as well? And what do I want
6:40to improve in the next month?" I started
6:42doing this because I realized that if I
6:45never stop to reflect, I would probably
6:47keep repeating the same unhelpful habits
6:50and patterns without even noticing. Life
6:53can move pretty fast, and it is very
6:56easy to just react to whatever is
6:57happening, and then suddenly another
7:00month is gone. So, this became a small
7:02way to zoom out a little, see what keeps
7:05holding me back, and also see like where
7:07things are actually improving, even if
7:09the progress feels slow. And if this is
7:12something that you want to try, I have
7:13linked my monthly reflection template in
7:16the description. It's the exact one I
7:18use myself, and it makes this whole
7:20habit much easier to actually stick
7:22with. Just click the link in the
7:23description, and you can get it there
7:25for free.
7:26Another simple habit that helped a lot
7:28in my journey is making tomorrow easier
7:32the night [music] before.
7:34Before going to bed, I would do a few
7:36small things that made the next day
7:38lighter, like laying out clothes, maybe
7:41preparing food, setting up my workspace,
7:44or just closing a few loops so I could
7:47actually properly rest and not carry
7:49unfinished things in my head into the
7:51night. What I like about this habit that
7:53it is very ordinary. It is just basic
7:56preparation, but it lowers your stress
7:59levels and makes good choices easier
8:02when you are still waking up and do not
8:04have that much energy or mental clarity
8:07just yet. My mornings became much calmer
8:10because I was using less willpower and
8:13less decision-making on things. There's
8:16a big difference between waking up to a
8:18messy, undecided morning and waking up
8:21knowing that the basics are already
8:23taken care of.
8:25Habit six, I started thinking twice
8:28before I committed.
8:30Before saying yes or no, I began asking
8:33myself, "Does this actually align with
8:36my values? And is this really what I
8:39want, or am I just reacting to something
8:41in the moment?"
8:43I started paying attention to this
8:44because I noticed that some of my worst
8:48decisions were not really big, obvious
8:51mistakes. They were small yeses and nos
8:54that came just from the wrong place.
8:56Like, sometimes I was letting my mood
8:58decide, sometimes a negative story I was
9:01telling myself, or sometimes just
9:03convenience. And when that happens often
9:05enough, your life can end up heading in
9:08directions that do not actually feel
9:10right for you.
9:11For example, I remember saying yes to
9:13spending time with people who were not
9:16good for me at all. They were not kind
9:19people, people whose company left me
9:21feeling worse afterward, and I still
9:24went because I was feeling lonely. But,
9:27I think sometimes it is just better to
9:29be alone than in a bad company, as the
9:31saying goes. And then there are the
9:33opposite kind of moments where you say
9:36no because something seems inconvenient
9:38or less important at the time, and only
9:41later you realize what it really meant.
9:44I still remember not going to my
9:47partner's grandfather's birthday party 8
9:49years ago because I chose to work
9:52instead. [music] And he was slightly
9:54disappointed that I did not come, and he
9:57probably does not remember that like all
10:00this thing anymore, but I do. I don't
10:02dwell on it anymore, but I keep it as a
10:05lesson in the back of my mind. And just
10:08to be clear, this is not about
10:09overthinking every small decision in
10:12your day-to-day life. It is just about
10:14making sure your answers come from
10:17something deeper than pressure,
10:19loneliness, or impulse. Then, I stopped
10:22feeding my brain non-stop.
10:25When you have a mastered the habit one,
10:27so stopping to start your day with junk
10:30input, [music] this becomes relevant
10:32because you understand that there's an
10:34infinite amount of stimulation available
10:37[music] these days. And if you're not
10:39careful, your mind could be in constant
10:41[music]
10:42receiving mode from morning to night. I
10:45think that it is completely okay to
10:47listen to podcasts or YouTube while, for
10:50example, cleaning or cooking. That's
10:52actually one habit that has helped me a
10:54lot to learn many of the things that I
10:56know today. And recently, I have
10:58actually been exploring the whole world
11:00of audiobooks. But in my opinion, the
11:03information, the content, the
11:05consumption needs to be balanced with an
11:08equal amount of quiet time, reflection,
11:11action, so that you are not just
11:13constantly getting new information and
11:15stimulation, but
11:17>> [music]
11:17>> forget 90% of it immediately. I think
11:20quiet space is easy to overlook because
11:22it does not look productive. [music]
11:24But often, that is the part that lets
11:26things actually sink in. It's a bit like
11:29watering a plant too often. At some
11:31point, it does not need more water. It
11:34needs time to use what it already got
11:36and grow. And when I started giving
11:38myself more of that space, I noticed I
11:41remembered more of what I learned. I
11:44felt more grounded and less dependent on
11:47constant input just to get through
11:49normal parts of the day.
11:51Habit eight. I try to make people feel
11:54more heard.
11:56This is something else that stayed with
11:58me from the book How to Win Friends and
12:00Influence People. That book also made me
12:03realize that one of the simplest ways to
12:05create better human connection is not by
12:08having the perfect line or saying
12:10something brilliant. It is more about
12:12becoming genuinely interested in other
12:15people because people remember the
12:17feeling of being heard. There's this
12:19story from the book that I remember.
12:21Dale Carnegie was at a dinner party and
12:24ended up sitting next to a botanist. And
12:26instead of trying to impress him or make
12:29himself sound super smart, he mostly
12:32just listened. [music]
12:33He asked a few thoughtful questions and
12:36let the man talk about plants, indoor
12:39gardens, and the things that he
12:40genuinely cared about. Carnegie did not
12:42say that much at all, but later on, the
12:45botanist told the host that Carnegie was
12:47an extremely interesting [music] and
12:49brilliant socially. And that is the
12:52funny part because he had barely talked.
12:54What made the conversation memorable for
12:57the guy was not how much he said, but
12:59how well he had listened.
13:01>> [music]
13:01>> And that taught me that being
13:03interesting is not the same as creating
13:05connection. Often, the wisest people in
13:08the room are not the ones who are the
13:10loudest. Sometimes, they are the ones
13:12who say less, know this more, and
13:14understand what is really going on. And
13:17I think when people feel heard, you also
13:19start to see like their real character
13:22more clearly. Like some people become
13:24more grounded, some become more full of
13:26ego. Either way, listening helps you see
13:29people better. This next one helped me
13:31in a more internal way, and it was
13:34simply that I stopped overlooking my
13:37strengths. [music]
13:38Before this, I think I related to myself
13:41in the way a lot of people do. I was
13:43much quicker to notice what was missing,
13:45what needed fixing, or where I was not
13:47good enough.
13:48>> [music]
13:48>> And if you keep doing that for long
13:51enough, of course, you can slowly build
13:53your whole self-image around the gaps
13:56instead of around what is already there.
13:58Years ago, I heard this um like exercise
14:01from some psychologist or maybe from a
14:04book. I honestly cannot now remember
14:06where I got it from, but the idea was to
14:08take half an hour and write down all the
14:12things you are good at. Not perfect at,
14:15not the top 1% of the world at, just
14:18good at. Both your like natural
14:20strengths and things that you have
14:21learned over time. So, I actually did
14:24this exercise properly, and I wrote down
14:26things like learning languages, cheering
14:29people up, solving problems,
14:31understanding different perspec-
14:33perspectives, and letting go of clutter.
14:35And what surprised me was that once I
14:38got started, the list was not just two,
14:41three, or four things. It became much
14:43longer than I expected. And that was
14:46helpful because it built my confidence
14:48[music] in a very healthy way from
14:50looking at real evidence. And it also
14:53gave me something solid to come back to
14:56in moments when I doubted myself. So, I
14:58guess sometimes the answer is not more
15:01self-improvement right away. Sometimes,
15:03it is simply seeing yourself more
15:05clearly and recognizing what is already
15:08there.
15:09Habit 10. I keep reminding myself that
15:12this is my unique journey.
15:16It is so easy to look at someone else's
15:18progress, success, or life situation and
15:21suddenly feel behind. Even when nothing
15:24is actually wrong in your own life,
15:26comparison can make it feel like
15:28something is missing. But the truth is,
15:31everyone's life is shaped by different
15:34experiences, different struggles,
15:36different opportunities, different
15:38seasons. So, comparing your path too
15:40closely to someone else's usually
15:43creates pressure that was never meant
15:45for you in the first place. What helped
15:47me was coming back to what I actually do
15:50control, like my actions, my choices, my
15:53mindset, the way I respond to what is in
15:56my life right now. Because once I bring
15:59my attention back there, life starts to
16:02feel better again. I stop wasting so
16:05much energy measuring myself against
16:07people who are living a completely
16:09different [music] life. And yeah, way
16:11easier said than done, of course, but I
16:12think a good goal is to try to use other
16:15people's success as encouragement
16:17instead of a benchmark. Let it remind
16:20you that growth is possible, not that
16:23you are late or that something is wrong
16:25[music] with you. Sometimes, the best
16:26thing you can do is stay in your lane,
16:29keep showing up, and let your life move
16:31at the pace that is actually right for
16:33you.
16:35Thank you so much for watching. Check
16:36out the monthly reflection template in
16:38the description below, and remember to
16:40stay kind and meaningful in your own
16:42beautiful journey. See you in the next
16:44one. Ciao.

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