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#1 Followed Neuroscientist: Break Your Negative Thinking — Transcript

by BigDeal by Codie Sanchez · 15,960 words · 2,305 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00If you want to be balanced, then you're
0:01going to get balanced results. That's
0:02just the truth. And I think that
0:04work-life balance [music] is kind of a
0:05scam.
0:06>> That's fascinating. So, what do you do?
0:07>> When you are obsessed, when you are all
0:09in, your brain starts to [music] filter
0:10your reality for more opportunities to
0:12get it done. You need that in order to
0:14get what you want.
0:15>> Today's [music] guest is one of the most
0:16followed neuroscientists in the entire
0:18world, Emily McDowell. She's going to
0:20help you use neuroscience to rewire your
0:22brain to win, destroy the negative loops
0:24you get stuck [music] at, and the things
0:25that sabotage you.
0:27>> There's a really cool study. They would
0:28put this one group of kittens in an
0:30environment with only horizontal black
0:32and white stripes, and they put
0:33different kittens with only vertical
0:34black and white stripes. And then at the
0:35end of that, they put them into a normal
0:37environment with everyday objects. They
0:38would bump into them, they didn't
0:40perceive them the same way that a kitten
0:42that was raised to see vertical stripes
0:43[music] did. Our brain constructs our
0:45entire experience of reality. Just like
0:47the table legs, a lot of the things that
0:49we want are actually right in front
0:50[music] of our faces, but we can't
0:51experience them if our brain isn't wired
0:53for them.
0:54>> If people use AI frequently now, are we
0:56seeing anything in brain science about
0:59that having a negative effect?
1:00>> It trains [music]
1:01dependence, not intelligence. A practice
1:03that I have in my life that is extremely
1:05helpful is
1:08>> Let's talk about attractiveness. You
1:11have this one video that I was so uh I
1:13thought was so interesting.
1:15And it was about that actually
1:17discipline can make you more attractive,
1:20and the science has data to back that
1:22up.
1:22>> Mhm.
1:23>> There are studies that straight up show
1:25that traits like self-control and
1:28reliability, and the ability to follow
1:31through on your word, those are all
1:33traits that are seen as more attractive
1:35by the opposite sex. Like, which are
1:37kind of that's kind of obvious, right?
1:38Like, yes, when I'm looking at me even a
1:40friend or a romantic partner, yeah,
1:43reliability is something that I value in
1:45someone. When we think about discipline,
1:47we think about forcing things and and
1:50forcing yourself to do things. For me,
1:52I've never thought of discipline that
1:53way. I remember when I was in my PhD and
1:55my friend, we were at the grocery store,
1:57and she has a mad sweet tooth and she'd
1:59be like, "Em, like I just don't get how
2:01you're so disciplined when it comes to
2:02your nutrition." And for me, it's never
2:04been about controlling myself, it's
2:05about looking out for future Emily.
2:07Like, what would future Emily appreciate
2:08me do right now? Because nutrition plays
2:10a huge role in how I feel. Biologically,
2:13discipline is nervous system regulation.
2:15How would you feel in a room full of
2:17people that don't follow through on
2:19their word, are not trustworthy, are not
2:21that you cannot rely on them? Your head
2:22is going to be on a swivel because you
2:24don't really feel safe in that
2:26environment. Versus if you were in a
2:28room full of people that you know have
2:30your back, you know you can trust and
2:33rely on, you're going to feel a lot more
2:35comfortable. And it's the same with your
2:37brain. If you're not following through
2:39on your own word, if you're not doing
2:40the things that you said that you were
2:41going to do, you tell yourself you're
2:43going to wake up tomorrow morning and go
2:44to the gym and you don't do it, now your
2:46brain is on a swivel with you. It's not
2:48trusting you and you then don't have
2:50that self-trust. People can actually
2:52feel that. Like, other people can feel
2:55the state of your nervous system. They
2:57were doing a study where they were
2:58recording one monkey's brain activity
3:01and the monkey that was actually getting
3:02recorded was looking off at his friend
3:04eating and then they saw that this
3:06monkey's brain activity looked like he
3:08was eating even though he wasn't and it
3:09was because he was watching his friend
3:11eat. And even like synchronized swimming
3:13or dancing, things like that or like mob
3:15mentality, our brain waves tend to sync
3:17up with the people, well, with anyone
3:19we're in communication with. So, even us
3:21right now, our brain waves are syncing
3:23up and if we were best friends, they
3:25would be syncing up even more and that's
3:27why when you're with your best friend,
3:28you feel like you can finish each
3:29other's sentences because your brain's
3:31actually syncing up with each other. And
3:32then, there is chemo signals which are
3:35kind of
3:36chemical signals, chemo signals,
3:38chemical signals that leak through the
3:40air, especially when you're stressed.
3:42And they've done studies where they've
3:43had people watch a scary movie that
3:44stressed them out and then they left the
3:46room and then they had a group of people
3:48walk in and report how they felt in that
3:50room. But, what they found was that you
3:52could actually feel those chemical
3:54signals that people leave behind. And
3:56so, we can feel other people's states of
3:59the nervous system. So, that's kind of
4:00the longer explanation for another
4:02reason why lack of discipline is
4:04unattractive because you can kind of
4:06feel that lack of self-trust, that lack
4:08that dysregulation. They don't feel like
4:11that and it's the opposite is also true.
4:13You can feel when someone's very
4:15confident and very certain in themselves
4:17and you walk in and you just know you
4:19can trust them. feel that, too. And so,
4:22that is why lack of discipline is
4:23unattractive. [laughter]
4:25>> So fast. There's so much to unpack
4:26there, but one of them that I've
4:28definitely felt we just um we moved into
4:30this office not too long ago and we're
4:33looking for a new office cuz this isn't
4:34big enough anymore. And so, I've been
4:36touring a bunch and the weirdest thing I
4:38went to this office it was beautiful. I
4:40mean, like everything I wanted in an
4:42office, perfect for us, but the second I
4:45walked in it I was like, "Ooh, I feel
4:47weird about this place." Nobody was
4:48really in there because they usually
4:50they clear you out before I bring in a
4:51team and sort of measure it and do
4:52whatever. And uh what I asked the real
4:55estate agent I'm like, "What's the deal
4:56with this one?" And they're like, "The
4:57startup's going under." And I was like,
5:00"I can feel it. I can actually feel it."
5:02And you know, a lot of people on the
5:03internet we live in Austin, so uh people
5:05on in Austin would be like, "Oh, that's
5:07cuz you're super empathetic or you've
5:08got crazy powers." And it's like, "No,
5:09no, no. It's actually chemicals,
5:11probably stress, anxiety, little
5:13sadness, little fear."
5:15It bled out and I could feel it in that
5:17office.
5:18Why is it so important that you choose
5:21the people that you spend the most
5:22amount of time with? Can you talk about
5:24brainwave synchronization?
5:26>> We have neurons in our brain, right? And
5:29they're kind of organized into these
5:30ensembles and you can think of like I
5:32mean, I used to be in an orchestra when
5:33I was [laughter] in middle school, so,
5:34you know, there's different ensembles
5:35and they're like groups of five that'll
5:37play at a time, right? And so, as you're
5:38thinking and communicating, you have
5:40these ensembles of activity kind of
5:42going off in your brain and what it
5:44looks like is waves. So, as they're kind
5:47of their neuron groups are firing in
5:49those different patterns firing, you
5:50kind of just start to record and it
5:51looks like brain waves, right? It looks
5:53like waves. And so, when you kind of
5:55record two people in communication with
5:57each other, you start to see these brain
5:59waves sync up. This has so many
6:01implications for your life and when
6:03people that you surround yourself with,
6:05and you know, I I to me it's one of the
6:08most important things is the people that
6:10we surround ourselves with. Like, I am a
6:12huge supporter of like, cut them off.
6:14Make them feel it. Like, I don't
6:15>> [laughter]
6:16>> I
6:17I'm very swift with the scissors. I've
6:19always said that and I've also say like,
6:21you don't have to cut people off. Like,
6:22you can love them from afar. Cuz I have
6:25a lot of people come to me and they're
6:25like, but I I don't I can't and, you
6:28know, you can love people from afar um
6:30and if they're not serving you, if the
6:32relationship isn't serving you, it's
6:34really important because you can block
6:36your blessings, block opportunities,
6:39block the job or the relationship. And I
6:42think a relationship is the simplest
6:44example because if you're in a
6:45relationship with someone that's not
6:47serving your best self or your best
6:50reality that you want to live, then
6:51you're not going to be able to get into
6:53a relationship with someone even better.
6:55And if you did, then you'd be cheating,
6:56right? And so, it's kind of like the
6:58simplest example, but this happens with
7:01the content that we consume, too. Not
7:03just people in our, you know, physical
7:06reality, but people in our virtual
7:08reality as well. And, you know, you can
7:10feel this when you're scrolling on
7:11social media and how you feel afterward,
7:13which is why it's really important to
7:14not just curate your friend groups, but
7:16also curate your feed.
7:18>> That's such a good point. I mean, in the
7:19age of AI, I'm kind of obsessed with
7:21that. That's why I'm so excited you're
7:22here today because I feel like we have
7:23to become sort of superhuman in order to
7:26combat this, you know,
7:28technological superhuman that is coming
7:30into our existence. And one of the only
7:31ways to to change your brain is is first
7:34to have awareness on it, right? And so,
7:36that like awareness that you have that
7:37you talk about where if I I know for
7:39instance when I'm on X, I find it
7:42stimulating,
7:43more sophisticated in some ways, lots of
7:45interesting things happening, but
7:47immediately when I get off there, I feel
7:49terrible. Whereas I've curated my
7:50Instagram, it's a hap I'm a little happy
7:52little clam on there. I got you, you
7:54know, [laughter] I got I got some
7:55animals on there. I got business advice.
7:57I'm great. And so it's really
7:59interesting and and I think I didn't
8:01realize how much taking in that
8:03negativity from places like an X
8:06actually even affects me and I'm a
8:07little bit older and maybe, you know,
8:09don't have not on social that much. So I
8:11was wondering, you've had shown some
8:13science previously about complaining and
8:16if complaining actually hurts your
8:19brain.
8:19>> Yeah. So complaining does it will
8:23First thing I want to say also kind of
8:25from the social media point that you
8:27were saying
8:28is that there's also something called
8:30automatic goal contagion where we
8:32subconsciously pick up on the goals or
8:35the focus of others without even
8:36realizing it.
8:38>> of mimetic desire but this is the
8:40neuroscience behind it?
8:41>> Yeah, sort of and then that's kind of
8:43where that sense feeling of like
8:45unfulfillment comes from where we just
8:47don't feel fulfilled because we're
8:48chasing someone else's dreams, someone
8:50else's desires and they're not aligned
8:52with our own values and then we might
8:54not achieve it and even if we do, then
8:57we're not feeling the fulfillment that
8:58we thought we would feel because it
8:59wasn't our goal to begin with. Yeah, so
9:02that's another thing but back to the
9:04complaining piece, yes, so science
9:06neuroscience shows that complaining,
9:09judging, criticizing it can actually
9:11change your brain. Um and for multiple
9:14reasons. I mean the first is that it it
9:15leads to stress, right? When you're
9:17complaining, you are you're well you're
9:19also activating neuroplasticity so
9:21you're training
9:22negative thought patterns and you are
9:24training your brain to look for more
9:26things to complain about so you're kind
9:28of also entering into this cycle
9:31where you're just going to continue to
9:33look for more things to complain about
9:34and feel even worse and then your
9:36brain's going to filter from your
9:37reality for more things. Um and but then
9:40there's also the other component where
9:42this kind of stress where you're always
9:44negative negative thoughts in general,
9:46not just complaining, judging,
9:47criticizing, um but negative thoughts in
9:49general, they lead to this stress that
9:51actually can shrink your prefrontal
9:53cortex. And then the prefrontal cortex
9:55is kind of the boss of your brain. It's
9:57what makes us human. Also, research
9:59[snorts] shows that there's no form of
10:02venting or complaining that is positive
10:05unless you reevaluate
10:09and kind of tell a new story at the end.
10:12Like you reappraise the situation at the
10:14end of the venting session. So, there's
10:17no amount of comp- People are like, "Oh,
10:19but I just need to get it out." Sure,
10:21okay, but when you're done getting it
10:22out, you have to tell a new story. You
10:25have to kind of reappraise the
10:27situation. If you just complain and then
10:30leave it at the complaint, you're
10:31actually only training your brain to
10:34look for more things to complain about.
10:36>> That's fascinating. So, what do you do?
10:37What does that look like? If I'm like,
10:39[snorts]
10:39"Listen, Kyle, real nightmare at work.
10:42Terrible at his job. Fell behind us, you
10:44know, barely going to make it every
10:46time, blah blah blah." And then and then
10:48what? And then I go, "But he's got great
10:50dad jokes."
10:51>> So, you could do you could do you could
10:53do it that way. Um or you could be like,
10:56"Okay, if that's the truth, then what
10:58are you going to do about it?"
10:59>> Ah, so it could be action-based?
11:01>> Right. It doesn't have to just be a
11:03Pollyanna sandwich.
11:04It doesn't have to be like, "Oh, I'm
11:05just going to think positive and tell a
11:07new story." It can be, "Okay, then what
11:09are you going to do to change it?"
11:11>> Interesting. So, every time you
11:13complain, do you catch yourself and then
11:15say, "All right, um but
11:17>> [laughter]
11:17>> what are we going to do about it?"
11:18>> Yeah, I think one question that I like
11:20to ask myself is, "Am I reinforcing my
11:23current reality or creating a new one?"
11:26Because we're always doing one or the
11:28other. And when when think of it from
11:30the neuroscience standpoint, right? Like
11:32with every thought, with every action,
11:34with every behavior, we are either we
11:36are either activating the same old
11:38pathways we've always activated in our
11:39brain or we're activating new pathways
11:42in our brains. And when we activate new
11:44pathways, now we're changing our brain
11:46and our brain is what constructs our
11:48entire experience of reality. And yeah,
11:50I mean, there's been times when I'm
11:51staying in the kitchen and I'm either
11:53stressed or being negative or
11:55complaining and I I got I have a vivid
11:57memory of the first time I ever used
11:58this on myself and I was walking through
12:00the kitchen and I was like, wait, M, are
12:02you reinforc- you're reinforcing your
12:04current reality right now? And I was
12:05like, damn it. Okay, I need Okay, like
12:07what do I want to do? And sometimes it
12:09is just kind of changing my ch- train of
12:11thought because there's nothing that I
12:13can really do and a lot of times we're
12:15just thinking negatively and not every
12:17feeling
12:19has a deep meaning. Like not every
12:20feeling has a deep meaning. Sometimes
12:22we're just tired, stressed, or hungry.
12:24>> Yeah.
12:25>> Need a walk.
12:25>> Yeah.
12:26>> Vitamin D supplements.
12:27>> when you're tired, stressed, or hungry,
12:28your prefrontal cortex can't really do
12:30its job to the best of its ability. And
12:32so, I think a lot of times, too, cuz I
12:34think people are like, oh, like are you
12:35emotional bypassing or are you just
12:37ignoring your feelings? But I think it's
12:39important to recognize and I
12:41like a few weeks ago, I was in my car
12:43and I caught myself like
12:45kind of thinking about something I I I
12:47forget what it was. I was kind of
12:48getting annoyed with someone and then I
12:49was like, I'm hungry. Like you're just
12:51in I was like, M, you're just in a bad
12:53mood right now. There No one
12:55Everything's fine. You you just need to
12:57eat something. You're in a bad mood. I'm
12:58like, oh, yeah, I'm in a bad mood. And
13:00just identifying it, actually labeling
13:02it,
13:03activates the prefrontal cortex and then
13:05you bring your logical brain back online
13:06and you're like, okay, yeah. And that
13:08doesn't mean I need to change the bad
13:09mood, but it's just like you should stop
13:10thinking about important things right
13:12now because you're not in the place to
13:13be doing that.
13:14>> That's so good. My friend and I, a long
13:17time ago when we started hearing
13:18ourselves kind of cycle like that, we
13:20now just send each other a Snickers meme
13:22cuz it's like, remember that commercial?
13:23It's like, grab a Snickers. And I'm
13:24like, you need a Snickers.
13:26>> Yeah.
13:26>> And so, anything you can do to have that
13:28like little moment of pattern break or
13:30pattern interrupt is so helpful. Cuz
13:32your brain's also really powerful, so I
13:34give it some credit. I'm like, I don't
13:35know if I'm going to be able to fight
13:36you right now, but I think a Snickers.
13:38>> I like to ask myself like what would the
13:39version of me who has it all do right
13:41now? Like if I had everything I ever
13:44wanted, what would I do right now? And I
13:45think that's where I maybe I'm a little
13:48different from a lot of the discipline
13:50you know,
13:52information out there cuz there's a lot
13:54of like forget your feelings, just stick
13:56to the plan and all of that. And I there
13:58are there are times when yeah, you
14:00should just stick to the plan. Um but I
14:01think that's where asking yourself what
14:04would the best version of me do right
14:05now or what would future me appreciate?
14:08Because sometimes it is just being like,
14:10all right, you're being a wimp. You're
14:11being too soft. Like get up and get it
14:13done. But then there are other times
14:15when it's like actually you'll be able
14:17to get a lot more done tomorrow or later
14:19today if you do rest for a second or go
14:21for that workout or go for that hike
14:23because you'll be recharging yourself
14:25and then you'll be able to do better
14:26later.
14:26>> You know, I was really good friends with
14:28this guy who was former CIA.
14:31And I remember he told me I was like,
14:33how could you figure out if somebody's
14:34lying to you or not? And he said,
14:36there's a really easy recipe for this.
14:38He's like, first of all, you never get
14:40them in the beginning of the day. You
14:41always catch them towards the end of the
14:43day. You don't catch them after a
14:44coffee. You catch them with a wine. You
14:46catch them after something is hard and
14:48tiring and intense because if if they
14:51just have had a super long day and
14:53they're super beat up, it is so much
14:55easier to slip. And he's like, so if
14:56that's true for a CIA guy who's trying
14:58to find a lie, imagine how we are with
15:00big decisions at the end of the day. And
15:02and I so I think you're right. I think a
15:03lot of especially for women, I think a
15:05lot of this stuff and I and I do it too.
15:07I'm like, shut up, keep going.
15:08>> I mean and look, being self-critical is
15:11in my opinion is not a bad thing at all.
15:13And I remember, you know, in the past I
15:16I've been on the phone with my manager
15:17and I'm like,
15:18you know, it's that he's like, M, the
15:20greatest performer like the greatest
15:22like achievers are the highest
15:23achievers, like most successful people,
15:24like they are the like the most critical
15:26of themselves. And he's like, that's
15:28just what they are. I'm like, yeah. And
15:30it is true, and I think I so I think
15:32that being critical of yourself and
15:34evaluating yourself is is not a bad
15:36thing at all. I think it turns bad when
15:40it starts to drain our energy and when
15:42it starts to defeat us and and
15:45discourage us. And that's kind of the
15:47line that I like to draw is am I am I
15:50you know, criticizing my am I kind of
15:52evaluating myself so that I can grow or
15:55am I actually just depleting my energy?
15:58And that's where the line needs or I'm
16:00discouraging myself. That's where the
16:01line needs to be drawn. And it's for the
16:03same reasons of, you know, complaining,
16:05judging, criticizing other people. Um
16:07except when you're doing it to yourself,
16:09now you're also kind of destroying your
16:11belief in yourself. And science shows
16:14just again and again that belief in
16:15yourself and, you know, believing in
16:18yourself and your abilities improves
16:20your performance. It gets you closer to
16:21achieving your goals. There are so many
16:23studies that show that. There are
16:24studies that show that it's even more
16:26important than talent or intelligence.
16:28Um and so your self-talk is so so so
16:31important. And I mean, you flip it in
16:33the opposite direction, it's also a
16:35performance enhancer. Like something
16:37that I've done kind of subconsciously,
16:39not even thinking about the neuroscience
16:40of it, um is, you know, ever since even
16:43when I was in grad school in my PhD, I'd
16:44be, you know, grinding all day long at
16:46the desk, just working. And the only
16:49time I would let myself get up is either
16:50to refill my water or go to the
16:51bathroom. And so I I was very motivated
16:53to drink a lot of water. And every time
16:56I would get up to go to go to the
16:58bathroom or to get water, I would be
16:59like, you're doing such a great job. And
17:01I'm like, I'm so proud of you. Like you
17:03got this. Like you're killing it. And um
17:07that boosts dopamine. And that also is a
17:09little bit of that positive
17:10reinforcement, right? Like if you're
17:11trying to train your dog to sit, you're
17:14you're not going to be just it's not
17:16going to learn to sit and or want to
17:18learn to sit if you're just yelling at
17:20him the whole time. Um but if you're
17:22giving him that positive like
17:24reinforcement and telling him, "Hey,
17:25yeah, you're doing a great job." He's
17:28going to have a lot more fun doing it
17:30and actually having fun and enjoying the
17:32process actually does improve learning
17:34and improve the speed at which you can
17:36learn it. Uh and it makes it more
17:37enjoyable, makes the journey more
17:39enjoyable, and that's what life is. It
17:41is the journey. And so yeah, I think it
17:43it's important for a lot more
17:45>> than just, you know, your brain. It's
17:46important for your performance as well.
17:48But there are studies that show that we
17:50actually get more out of others when we
17:52do positive reinforcement as opposed to
17:54negative reinforcement in the brain.
17:57>> Yes, especially I mean I'm thinking
17:59specifically about relationships and
18:02especially like men and women in
18:04relationships, you're actually more
18:06likely to get what you want out of the
18:08other person if you kind of focus on the
18:11thing that you are wanting and and
18:13almost and almost priming them to like
18:17think, feel, or behave in the way that
18:19you want. So rather than just being
18:20like, "Oh, like you never do this for
18:21me." Be like, "I love it when you do
18:23this." And that actually makes them more
18:25motivated to make you feel that positive
18:28way because we want to make each other
18:29feel good. And so it motivates us to
18:32treat other people in that way and kind
18:34of almost fit that mold for the identity
18:38that we want to have basically in the
18:39relationship. And so we're kind of
18:41priming them to fit into that mold of
18:44who we would like them to be. Um and so
18:47yeah, I mean that's specifically in
18:48relationships, but absolutely I mean and
18:51I'm sure you've you've noticed that in
18:52life. When someone's just criticizing
18:55you like does that make you want to does
18:57that make you want to show up for that
18:58person or, you know, be better? If
19:00anything, it makes it makes me kind of
19:02just want to spite them. So
19:03>> [laughter]
19:04>> I mean that's that's just me though. Uh
19:06I have a little bit of a rebellion
19:08nature.
19:08>> that's [laughter] just you. I mean some
19:10of the most successful people I know who
19:12also talk about their partnerships and
19:14how important they've been like I was
19:16talking like Dean Graziosi and his wife
19:18when he was on here and Tony Robbins and
19:19they talk a lot about
19:21how one of the reasons their partnership
19:23is so strong is they actually never
19:25allow certain words to come into their
19:26their equation about their partners for
19:28instance. So like that the saying of
19:30like the old ball chain like that not in
19:32their vocabulary whatsoever. In fact,
19:34it's always pretty positive like you
19:36know, my wife the mother of my children
19:39you know, my my life partner like these
19:40things that have like really durable
19:42meaning and I always really responded
19:44well to that because this day and age
19:46it's so much cooler to be like
19:49my husband's been a such a pain in this
19:50week or he doesn't get it or men, you
19:52know?
19:53>> Yeah.
19:54>> it's so easy to do that.
19:55>> Mhm.
19:56>> And that's why actually there was one
19:57video I really liked of yours that was
19:59about this is a little bit about
20:02pessimism versus optimism
20:03>> [gasps]
20:04>> but about how negativity can actually
20:06shorten your lifespan.
20:08Is that true? And I found one study that
20:10was wild. It was like a Harvard study
20:13that had 70,000 women I think and it was
20:17it was over like decades.
20:19And basically the study took these
20:2170,000 women over let's call it 20 or 30
20:24years and had some controls around you
20:27know, weight and socioeconomics and
20:31background and genetic disposition and
20:33age and ethnicity whatever.
20:35But they took these couple control
20:37groups of women and they ran screens on
20:39them for pessimism versus negativity in
20:42the way that they communicated and over
20:44this 30-year period the women who were
20:47labeled as more optimism optimistic not
20:50pessimistic they lived like 11 to 20%
20:53longer than the negative communicating
20:56women. I thought that was fascinating
20:59like just by us saying negative words we
21:01could actually live less long and I
21:03would assume that has something to do
21:04with the brain.
21:05>> Right. Well, I mean so there's actually
21:07some interesting things beyond the
21:09brain. I mean, we can think about it
21:11from the brain perspective, of course,
21:12and you know, it's we're kind of getting
21:14into this theme here where yeah, I mean,
21:16it's all it all comes down to stress.
21:19And when we're negative and pessimistic,
21:21we are more stressed. And chronic stress
21:23ages us. It ages our brain. There's kind
21:26of another branch of research on loving
21:28kindness meditation specifically in
21:29women as well, where they've shown that
21:31it actually can lengthen telomeres,
21:34which are the kind of the endings of our
21:35chromosomes. And there is like a little
21:37bit of research in kind of a field
21:39looking into kind of like as we age,
21:41basically, our telomeres and our
21:42chromosomes kind of shrink. And so, if
21:44it's lengthening them, they're kind of
21:46thinking that that could be a mechanism
21:48by which we are lengthening our
21:50lifespan. And I've seen that
21:52specifically in women. And so, I don't
21:54know if maybe there's there's kind of an
21:56an enhanced effect of positive thinking
21:59and optimism in women versus men, or
22:01maybe they just haven't looked at it as
22:02much in men.
22:04But yeah, and so there's there's the
22:05neuroscience component of it, but then
22:07there's also the kind of like the
22:09chromosome and telomere component as
22:12well. Yeah.
22:12>> And and loving kindness meditation is
22:14basically where you meditate and you
22:17sort of meditate with this
22:19vision of loving yourself and loving
22:23other people. Like as you walk past them
22:25and like you can do it live. I remember
22:27like Tim Ferriss,
22:30a friend of mine, explaining to me that
22:31like that changed his life when he did
22:33it.
22:33>> Is that right?
22:34>> Yeah, so it's a practice of you sit down
22:36and you imagine someone that you love.
22:38You start with someone that you love,
22:40that's the easiest. And you think, you
22:41know, may you be happy, may you be
22:43healthy, like sending basically, yeah,
22:44like good vibes to them and and love and
22:47joy and health to them. And then you
22:48bring up strangers and then you you send
22:50that to kind of or acquaintances, right,
22:52acquaintances. And then you actually
22:54bring up somebody that you're not on
22:56good terms with and you do it with that
22:58person as well. And that one, you know,
23:00that's why you gradually get tougher.
23:02But it's it's in a wonderful practice
23:04and it's really beautiful and when I do
23:06it, it brings tears to my eyes because
23:07of the love activates, but I actually
23:09have kind of a fun little practice that
23:11I do. I actually will imagine myself
23:13sending beams of love through my eyes at
23:17random strangers. So, I'll just be
23:18standing in the gym and like, you know,
23:20if I'm like stretching or whatever, I'll
23:22just look around at random people and
23:23just like send beams of love at them.
23:26Um, and it never fails to bring tears to
23:28my eyes. Like it always makes me
23:30>> You're just crying in the gym.
23:31>> Yeah, yeah.
23:32>> [laughter]
23:33>> Like I'm sitting here
23:35>> No, I'm
23:36I'm I'm I'm a little different.
23:37[laughter]
23:38But,
23:39but it's it's it's cool though and I
23:41think it it kind of gets a little bit of
23:43that neuroscience also of you get what
23:45you give. And when you and this is kind
23:47of another um, part of complaining,
23:49judging, criticizing other people and
23:51um, thinking about what's wrong with
23:52other people. Like your brain has to
23:54simulate whatever trait it is that
23:57you're focused on. Whether it is at
24:00other people or at yourself, your brain
24:02has to simulate that trait in order to
24:04understand it fully. And so, if I'm
24:07sitting here, you know, sending beams of
24:09love at random strangers, um, it
24:12my brain has to be focused on love. It
24:14has to be. There's no other way to do
24:16it. And then in that meditation you kind
24:18of flip that emotion around on yourself
24:20and you're just like, that's how it
24:21feels to be loved unconditionally
24:22because I think most people don't know
24:26how it feels to love ourselves
24:28unconditionally. We know how it feels to
24:30love others, but not necessarily
24:32ourselves and it's
24:34that is an overwhelming feeling. But,
24:36that one's a little that one can be a
24:38little trickier, but the going out in
24:39public and just sending beams of love at
24:41strangers through your eyes. That one
24:43That one's a really good one and if
24:44you're ever sad or just go out there and
24:47do it. And also, you know, you'll be
24:49you'll be raising your own energy,
24:50you'll feel really good, you'll feel
24:52more positive and I've had just great
24:53things happen also in my my whenever I
24:56do that. Like I'll be walking down the
24:57street, waving, smiling at random
24:59strangers, and then, you know, I'm like,
25:00"Oh, wow, it feels so good to like send
25:02love and joy to other people." And then
25:03I'll like open my email and like, "Oh,
25:04new deal came through." You know?
25:05>> [laughter]
25:06>> So, it's like And when you when you
25:08raise your energy and you focus on the
25:10good, it's like more good starts to
25:11come.
25:12>> You know, it's really funny cuz one of
25:13my favorite mentors told me, um,
25:15"Optimists uh I'm sorry, pessimists
25:17sound smart, and optimists make money."
25:20And I think it's so true. This, you
25:22know, it sounds so touchy-feely, and I'm
25:25a pretty spreadsheet girl, so like I'm
25:27in the math. But what I like about you
25:29is you bring the data to these things
25:31that a lot of people think are just too
25:33esoteric. They're like, "Whatever, you
25:35two beams of light."
25:37But uh you know, one of my favorites is
25:39when I'm in the airport, which is one of
25:40the most annoying places to be for me.
25:42People don't walk fast enough, like
25:44everything's not on time, there's loud
25:45noises, like I'm like, "I need to get in
25:47and out of here immediately."
25:48Uh and so it annoys me. But one of my
25:50little plays, like if you're ever
25:52somewhere where you're really annoyed
25:53and stressed, I just picture one thing
25:55on every person that's walking past, and
25:56I'm like, "That is so cool." Like, your
25:58earrings, I'm like, "Whoa, look how cool
26:00those are. I wonder if they hurt.
26:02They're really beautiful." You know? And
26:03every single human. And so, it's
26:05actually really crazy. I haven't yet
26:06found one human that I'm like, "The
26:07whole package, there's nothing nothing
26:10good there." And so, my husband and I'll
26:12be at the airport, and he'll be like, "I
26:14am so annoyed." And I'll be like, "I
26:15noticed she has an incredible purple
26:17hair splash." You know? And it's like
26:19He's like, "What is wrong with you?" So,
26:20I love that. Now, one other thing that I
26:22think maybe comes back to this is
26:25that we actually get to craft our
26:26reality according to neuroscience. And
26:29so, you were explaining this to me
26:31pre-podcast, and I was like, "This is
26:32fascinating because you actually did all
26:34of this in a lab." And I had no idea
26:36what a vision lab was, or I I certainly
26:39have felt before, like probably, you
26:41know, if you're listening, you've felt
26:42this, like, "No, no, I saw this, and you
26:45saw that, and why are you gaslighting
26:47me? And this is my real reality."
26:50But there's actual neuroscience maybe
26:52that says that we don't live in the same
26:54realities. Can you talk about that?
26:56>> Yes. So, well, so there's clear science
27:00that shows that no two people see color
27:01the exact same way. That we know. That
27:04we know.
27:05Um and I can get into that in a second,
27:07but kind of zooming out and and color I
27:09love the example of color because it
27:12just really showcases, you know, how
27:15literal this is, that our brain is what
27:18constructs our entire experience of
27:20reality. Our brain constructs our entire
27:22experience of reality. And actually,
27:23there's a really cool study that really
27:25shows this. And it's a kitten study. Um
27:27it was a long time ago, like 1970s, late
27:301970s, or maybe 1970 actually, but um
27:33two scientists, they ran this study
27:34where they had these newborn kittens and
27:36they raised them in complete darkness.
27:38Except for 2 hours a day, they would put
27:40this one group of kittens in an
27:41environment with only horizontal black
27:43and white stripes, and they put
27:45different kittens in an environment with
27:46only vertical black and white stripes.
27:48And maybe a couple hours a day they
27:49would do that until their visual systems
27:51completely developed. And then at the
27:53end of that, when they were developed,
27:54they put them into a normal environment
27:56with everyday objects like tables and
27:57chairs. And what they found was that the
27:59kittens that were raised only ever
28:01seeing these horizontal stripes, they
28:03did not respond normally to table legs.
28:05Like they didn't react to them normally.
28:07They would bump into them. Like they
28:08didn't perceive them the same way that a
28:11kitten that was raised to see vertical
28:12stripes did. And it's because their
28:14visual systems developed differently,
28:16right? Their brains were programmed
28:17differently according to the environment
28:19that they grew up in. And so, now
28:21they're grown up and they're thrown into
28:23the real world and they're not able to
28:26perceive anything outside of what they
28:28saw as they grew up. And I remember when
28:31I learned that, I was like, "Whoa, like
28:32if these kittens can only see the real
28:34their reality based on what they saw as
28:37they grew up, like what am I missing?"
28:39Cuz I grew up, you know, think like
28:40hearing money doesn't grow on trees and,
28:42you know, all like the lack limitation,
28:44like pessimistic and all that. Um and
28:47so, I was just like, what what am I
28:48missing because of the way that my brain
28:50is programmed? And I've come to find
28:52that yeah, just like the table legs, a
28:55lot of the things that we want are
28:56actually right in front of our faces,
28:58but we can't experience them if our
28:59brain isn't wired for them. And I like
29:02using the example of color as well, just
29:05because it shows like so clearly that
29:07like reality is a construct. Like color
29:09actually and the reason why no two
29:10people see color the same way is because
29:12color doesn't actually even exist as a
29:14physical property of the world.
29:17The it's a construct made up by the
29:19brain in order for us to kind of
29:22decipher different wavelengths of light.
29:24The brain made up color so that we could
29:27know that, you know, this chair is
29:29different from this table. And so, it's
29:31it's interesting because that's just
29:33color, right? It's It's true for all of
29:35our senses and it's it's it's I remember
29:38when I was still on the phone with my
29:39grandma and I was telling her about
29:41this. She was like, "That's terrifying."
29:42>> [laughter]
29:44>> And I was like, "No, Nanny."
29:47I'm like, "No, Nanny, it's actually so
29:49cool and so empowering because that
29:51means that if our brain is constructing
29:53our entire experience of reality, you
29:55can change your brain to change the
29:58reality that you experience. And that's
30:01exactly what I did to myself. That's why
30:02I'm so passionate about sharing all of
30:04this is, you know, I went from
30:06struggling so badly with ADHD and mental
30:08health issues, physical health issues,
30:10all these things and then,
30:12you know, studying neuroscience and
30:13epigenetics and all these different
30:15things. I was like, "Whoa, let me get to
30:17work on my own brain."
30:19And I remember when I first started
30:20doing work on my money mindset
30:22specifically and just seeing the changes
30:25in my own kind of like finance finances
30:28pretty quickly when I had kind of
30:31started to get rid of all of my lack
30:33mindset and my limiting beliefs around
30:35it and all the kind of conditioning,
30:36right? The stripes that I saw growing up
30:38and become aware of like where am am the
30:40kitten in my own life based on the way I
30:42grew up, that's when you can start to
30:45really change. And I think it's
30:47especially important to look into that
30:50because, I mean, I I've been diving into
30:52this new I haven't even made content
30:53about this kind of yet, but identity
30:55based motivation theory. Um and our
30:58brain actually only allows us to dream
31:00up and imagine things that are congruent
31:03with our current identity. And so we
31:05tell people, dream big, you know, be
31:08delusional. But if their identity does
31:11not align with that, their brains won't
31:13even allow them to come up with the big
31:15goal or dream. And that's sort of where
31:18I was, too. I was like, I didn't even
31:19know what I wanted to do with my life or
31:21what I like what what my purpose was or
31:23any of that. And then when I started to
31:25do the work on my self-concept and all
31:28of that, that's when all of a sudden I
31:30had all these big dreams. Uh and my
31:32first big dream was going to get my PhD
31:34in neuroscience. And I fully went to I
31:36wanted to cure drug addiction and win a
31:37Nobel Prize for that. Like that's what
31:39that's what I was studying in the PhD.
31:41And so, um I I think working on sort of
31:45where like your brain first really is
31:47that first step because that's when you
31:48start to unlock all the possibilities.
31:51>> It's fascinating. There's this um thing
31:53in in business uh that we call the
31:55wallet trap. But basically,
31:57if you were to put a couple hundred
31:58marketers, there's a great study. If you
32:00were to put a couple hundred marketers
32:01in a room,
32:02and um again, you had a couple control
32:05groups, but you were to ask them uh how
32:07much, I don't know, uh this iPad was
32:11worth. But they didn't know what the
32:13cost of the iPad was. Um they had no
32:15market knowledge. And they would say,
32:16"Okay, how much is this worth?"
32:18Well,
32:19marketers who are supposed to be the
32:21best at pricing in the world, like
32:22they're pricing experts. They're like,
32:24"I know how to market, so if I set the
32:25right price, more people will buy it."
32:27The best people in the world, basically
32:29what they do every time you give them an
32:31option to price things is they price it
32:33slightly below what their wallet is
32:35capable of buying at that moment. So
32:37they basically assume that most people
32:39are just slightly less rich than them,
32:41and that's how they price on average. So
32:43like 70% of people would just price this
32:46according to right below what they could
32:47buy, right? And then
32:49they basically did some of your work,
32:51which is worked on sort of
32:53you know, historical bias and their
32:56limiting beliefs around money, and then
32:58they were able to predict the price of
32:59things at a 50% better increase after
33:01doing it. And so we find that most
33:04owners have what we call poor owner
33:06mindset, which I don't love the words
33:08cuz it it's kind of got a negative
33:10connotation, but
33:12they price things below what they would
33:14pay for them. They don't price them
33:16based on outcome, they price them based
33:18on wallet. That's really dangerous in
33:20business. That's why probably most
33:21businesses die because they don't have
33:23enough margin to play with. And so I
33:25think what you're talking about is
33:26really really important. And and maybe
33:28this comes into the some of the work and
33:30videos that you've talked about
33:31according to like reticular activating
33:33system.
33:34And how we prime our brain basically to
33:36determine things. You want to talk about
33:38what is reticular activating system, why
33:41does it matter in your brain, and how
33:42might you be priming your things good,
33:44bad, or otherwise?
33:45>> Yeah.
33:47Um priming your brain
33:49to me that's one of the easiest ways to
33:51start practicing your powers. And when I
33:53when I tell people, oh you have
33:54superpowers and you've never you've
33:56never witnessed that in your own life,
33:57um I think priming your brain and and
33:59using your reticular activating system
34:01to your advantage is one of the easiest
34:02and first ways to do it.
34:04Um and you know, in in in Mind Craft in
34:06my business,
34:08um we have people like I'll just say
34:09like choose a random object and after
34:11listening to this episode if you're out
34:12there listening like
34:14>> [snorts]
34:14>> literally choose just a random object,
34:16anything. Like people choose feathers,
34:18they choose shapes. Someone chose a
34:20purple unicorn something a purple
34:23unicorn and then that day they found a
34:25hat full of purple unicorn. So it can be
34:28anything. But when you do that, right,
34:29you're priming your brain. And and your
34:31reticular activating system is a system
34:33in your brain that sits deep in the
34:35brainstem.
34:36And [snorts] it actually just sort of
34:37acts as a filter. So, we have around 11
34:40million bits of information per second
34:43that arrive to our brain. And only about
34:4750 bits per second actually come through
34:50to our conscious awareness. So, that's
34:5210.99999
34:54million bits of information are being
34:56filtered out per second by the brain.
34:59And the the reticular activating system
35:01is kind of one of the key players in
35:03that. Um and so,
35:05basically, what you do is you'll priming
35:07your brain this is you there's many ways
35:09to do it. I was just reading a study
35:11about how they actually had people they
35:15they asked people to write about a time
35:17where they felt very powerful. Um and
35:19then they had another group write about
35:20a time where they felt powerless. And
35:22then they had them go and do um an
35:25interview to get a job. And
35:27these people that were interviewing them
35:29had no idea that even of the conditions
35:31of the study about power, powerless, any
35:33of that. And they ranked the people that
35:35did the the kind of where they wrote
35:37about a time they felt powerful, those
35:39people performed far better um than the
35:42people who wrote about a time where they
35:43felt powerless. And so, and because you
35:45can speculate that pe- these people
35:48their brains were primed for power.
35:51And their brains were primed for oh, I'm
35:53great. I'm powerful. And they went into
35:55that interview feeling great and
35:56powerful. And so, they performed in a
35:58great and powerful way. Um and so, this
36:00this will affect your performance, your
36:02behavior. Um but also, like we were just
36:04talking about how your brain constructs
36:05your entire experience of reality. And
36:07the visual system is so cool. I think
36:08that that's one of the coolest sensory
36:10systems we have. I might be biased, but
36:12um
36:13you know, we don't see the world with
36:14our eyes. We see the world with our
36:16brains. Our brains are what construct
36:18that image, right? And color is one
36:19example, but even people with um let's
36:21say like body dysmorphia, they've
36:23actually found that there's differences
36:25in activation in different areas that
36:27are responsible for putting together the
36:28image that we see. So, they're actually
36:31their brains are actually putting
36:32together a different image of
36:33themselves. So, you tell them, "Oh, it's
36:35all in your head." Um but it's not.
36:36Their brain is actually constructing a
36:38different image of themselves and that's
36:39why I I remember I told this to my
36:41friend like when I first went to my PhD,
36:43too, and I was like I told her I was
36:45like, "You're never going to love your
36:45body until you love your body because
36:47your brain is what constructs the image
36:49of you." And um you can do you can get
36:51all the the surgeries and fitness and
36:53the diets and the nutrition, but if you
36:54don't love yourself, you're never going
36:56to like the image that you see in the
36:58mirror. Um and that's because the image
37:00you see in the mirror is not an
37:01objective image. It's the image that
37:02your brain puts together. And the point
37:04of me sharing this is because when you
37:06prime your brain, you change the way
37:08that your reticular activating system
37:10filters that information arriving,
37:12right? Over 99% of the bits the
37:15information bits per second are being
37:17filtered out. And when you prime your
37:19brain for like that in that study,
37:21power, now your brain is going to be
37:24filtering everything that comes through
37:26for power. And it's like, "Oh, I look in
37:29the mirror and I'm seeing myself as more
37:30powerful." You will literally see
37:32yourself differently in the mirror. You
37:33will feel differently. Um and so and
37:36even like if your interviewer like you
37:37talking you talking to me, all of a
37:39sudden now I'm going to be like, "She
37:41thinks I'm more powerful." And I'm going
37:43to be hearing you differently. And so
37:44you start to experience reality
37:47differently the way that you feel, the
37:49way that you behave, um the way that
37:51other people are coming across to you.
37:53Uh and then that that changes your
37:54entire experience. But then it also
37:55changes what you see. And I was I think
37:57I was talking to my brother about this
37:59yesterday, but it's like and there's
38:01like this red car kind of example where
38:03if you're walking down the street and I
38:04ask you, "How many red cars have you
38:06seen in the past past 5 minutes?" You
38:08would not be able to tell me, probably.
38:09I mean,
38:10you would not be able to
38:11because you're in your head and you're
38:12thinking about something else. But if I
38:14told you, "Okay, now walk down the
38:16street and tell me how many red cars you
38:17see." you'd be able to tell me exactly
38:19how many red cars [clears throat] you
38:20see because your brain was filtering
38:21your reality for them. And so that's
38:24kind of the power of priming. You prime
38:26your brain and now you're going to
38:28notice those things in your reality.
38:31>> So good. So let's play this out. Let's
38:33say you're listening right now and you
38:35don't love your body. You know, I I've
38:37been there. I'm getting older. I like
38:40notice that today. I went to the gym.
38:42I usually go pretty early, but I went
38:44and ended at 8:00. And 8:00 is like this
38:48boxing class and those chicks
38:51are hot. Like they're it's just
38:52everybody's like tan, they've got
38:54six-packs, like everything's perfect,
38:56they've gotten all the work done. I'm
38:57like, "Oh my god, you guys look great."
39:00Simultaneously, I'm like,
39:02I haven't gotten a tan in a minute, you
39:04know, I'm not working on my fitness in
39:06that same way. So I have a minute almost
39:08every time where I'm like, "Ah, man, I
39:10wish I looked like that." And I think
39:12that's part of a lot of women today.
39:14Like, you know, I'm sure there there's
39:16just like there's levels to the game,
39:18right? If I say that to some people,
39:19they'll be like, "Cody, you're crazy."
39:21If I say that to a person who's like at
39:22a level I want to be, they might be
39:23like, "Well, you could do this and this
39:24and this, right? Levels." So what do you
39:27do when you hate your body or when you
39:29hate a part of your body? Like, how do
39:30you as a neuroscience night how do you
39:32as a neuroscientist reprogram that?
39:36>> I love this question because someone in
39:38my group actually just came to me with
39:39this. He was like, "Should I start going
39:41to the gym with a a giant sweatshirt on
39:44and when I look in the mirror just I'm
39:45like imagining it changing?" And I
39:47actually have I I think a bit of a
39:49different approach when it comes to
39:50fitness and I I think I kind of have
39:52been manifesting and priming my brain
39:54and placeboing myself on accident
39:56without even realizing it. But I think,
39:58you know, and you probably know about
39:59it. I think I learned about this in a
40:01business course actually, which is that
40:02that, you know, there's a minimum and a
40:04maximum to which we will allow ourselves
40:06to fluctuate between. And if you're
40:08trying to reach a level of fitness that
40:10you've never been at before, you kind of
40:11have to break through that top ceiling
40:14that you've ever been at before.
40:16Um
40:17And and I I think a lot of that comes
40:20with identity work. And and I know for
40:22me personally, I I was doing P90X in
40:25middle school. Like I I've always been
40:28fit, always. I've had abs literally my
40:30whole life. And and it's just this just
40:32who I am, right? And I'm as I say that
40:34I'm like, yeah, exactly. That's who you
40:35are. And your brain work works 100% of
40:38the time to keep you consistent with who
40:40you are. The first step is, you know,
40:42shifting your identity to I'm the type
40:44of person then that I'm I'm like those
40:46girls. Like you said you want to be like
40:47those girls and go in the that you're
40:49like that then. Like that's the type of
40:50person that I am. And you just start
40:52identifying as that type of person. And
40:53now, what kind of things do those girls
40:55do? They go to that boxing class. And so
40:57now it's asking yourself like what are
40:59the kind of activities and habits that
41:01women like that do? And it's that
41:04they're going to that boxing class.
41:05They're probably pretty serious about
41:07their nutrition, too. They probably get
41:08their full 100 or whatever ounces of
41:10water a day. They're probably doing a a
41:12lot of things and that's just who they
41:14are. Um, but when you start to identify
41:16as that version, then it's very simple
41:18to ask yourself, okay, what are how do
41:20those people how do women like that
41:22move? And then you just start moving
41:24like that. And then, you know, you'll
41:26fluctuate as everyone does and it's all
41:28about just giving yourself grace and
41:30bringing yourself back as frequently as
41:32possible. Um, but then I think placebo
41:35effect is a real effect. Your brain
41:37triggers biological changes in your
41:38body. I think we've been talking about
41:40that with negative self-talk and
41:42criticism and hate and judgment, you
41:44know, that triggers cortisol and all of
41:46that in your body and that ages you. But
41:48you can do the opposite where you look
41:50in the mirror and I literally we were so
41:52we were snowed in in Dallas this past
41:53weekend and we went on like a family gym
41:55trip and we all walked out and we were
41:57in the car and I was like, guys, we all
41:58just paid our hot tax. We're all skinny
42:01right now. And I'm in the car and I'm
42:02like, congratulations, everybody. You're
42:04skinny. And that's just the way that I
42:06think. Like I just I I'm a very like I
42:09guess just dramatically positive person
42:12at least most of the time. And and I I
42:15think, you know, something that I don't
42:16realize until, you know, now that my
42:18brain's filtering reality for kind of
42:19those examples, like, yeah, what was I
42:22doing? I was priming everyone's brains
42:24and almost placeboing all of us to be
42:26like, yeah. And they've done studies on
42:28that, where they've told women, like,
42:29"Hey, your job of cleaning this hotel is
42:32actually a workout. It actually is a
42:33workout." And they told other women, you
42:35know, just They didn't tell other women
42:37anything. And the women that were told,
42:39"Hey, your job is a workout." They
42:40burned more calories. Like, they
42:42actually burned more calories because
42:44they their brains were primed and they
42:46believed it. And who knows? They might
42:47have been cleaning with a little extra,
42:48you know, they might have been, you
42:49know, flexing their core when they were
42:51doing it. You don't I We don't know
42:52that. But the point is that when you
42:54start to like have that mindset as you
42:56move, right? Your brain is going to be
42:58filtering everything that you're doing.
42:59And another thing that I like to do is
43:01like even when I'm eating, like
43:02something I've always done on
43:02Thanksgiving
43:04is I will hit glutes the day before or
43:06the day of Thanksgiving. And I'm like,
43:07every single calorie I eat is going
43:09straight to my glutes. And that's just
43:11the way that I think. And you know, is
43:13that accurate? Does it actually work
43:15that way? I've no idea. But, I mean, in
43:17my mind, it does. And so, I'm almost
43:20placeboing myself. And literally, so,
43:22what someone One of my students in
43:23Minecraft, it was a couple weeks ago
43:25that he kind of came to me and he was
43:26like, "How should I go about this?" And
43:27I was like, "You need to be eating with
43:29the the mindset and placeboing
43:30yourself." And you know, that's an
43:32ancient practice of praying over your
43:33food, right? So, just set intentions
43:35into your food. And then, as you're
43:36working out, when you're looking in the
43:37mirror, every single rep, right? Mind
43:40muscle connection is a real thing and it
43:42does improve your results. So, have the
43:44mind muscle connection, like, every
43:45single rep, it's like, "Yes, I'm
43:46building my muscles." And he came back 2
43:48weeks later and he was like, "I've
43:49literally seen a bigger difference in 2
43:51weeks than I've seen in so long." And
43:53so, that's sort of my, in a nutshell,
43:56way that I would start going about it.
43:57>> So good. Next time you see me, I'll be
43:59at the boxing class. I'll be I'll be
44:00Jersey tan. You know, I heard some
44:02Jersey come out right there. I I heard
44:03that. That was good.
44:04>> I'm from New I'm from upstate New York,
44:06so I'm
44:06>> Okay, okay, a little Upstate New York.
44:08>> [laughter]
44:09>> Um yeah, you know, one of the things
44:11that
44:12has helped me is I just always try to
44:14set like one PR every time I go to the
44:16gym. Just one and it could be little.
44:18Like last time I did 10 reps at this
44:21amount. Next time I'm just I'm going to
44:22do 11. But like every time to have some
44:24tiny forward progress. Hey, last time I
44:26was only here for 59 minutes, I'm going
44:28to be here for 60 minutes. Like have
44:29some personal progress, I think is so
44:31cool. Um I actually like
44:34this is maybe to go the opposite side.
44:36We're giving ourselves some love. We're
44:38we're being positive towards ourselves.
44:41But I think there's also data that you
44:42found to show being obsessed and
44:45actually a bit delusional helps you be
44:47more successful. Is that true? And what
44:50does the science tell us about that?
44:51>> Yeah, absolutely. So, neuroscience shows
44:54that, you know, being extreme and going
44:57all in, like that like you you need that
45:00in order to get what you want. You
45:02really do. And when you think about it
45:03from just beginning from the perspective
45:05of we we were just talking about the
45:07reticular activating system, your brain
45:09filters your reality according to what
45:12you're focused on, right? And we're just
45:14talking about priming. And so and I I
45:16love to use the example of, you know,
45:17back in the day when I first started
45:19creating content, I was posting an
45:20affirmation picture every single day. I
45:22would post picture of nature. It was a
45:24nature photo that I would take and then
45:25a little affirmation on there on my
45:27story every single day. And everywhere I
45:29went, I would be like, oh, that'd be a
45:31good affirmation background. And I would
45:33my eye my brain was literally filtering
45:35my reality for opportunities to take a
45:37picture for the affirmation tomorrow.
45:39And when you are obsessed, when you are
45:42all in, when you're doing something
45:43every single day, your brain starts to
45:45filter your reality for more
45:46opportunities to get it done. And so
45:49that's that's kind of the first example,
45:51right? And then of course, there's the
45:52neuroplasticity kind of components to
45:54this as well, right? And
45:56if you want to live the life that you
45:58want to live, if you want to change your
45:59reality, you have to change your brain
46:01first. Like I hope that's very obvious
46:03through this episode is like, you know,
46:05your your reality and your experience of
46:07it depends on the way that your brain is
46:09wired. And so, if you want to change
46:11your reality, you need to rewire your
46:12brain. And the way that you do that is
46:15neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the
46:17ability for your neurons to basically
46:19change and adapt. And that doesn't, you
46:21know, you can that goes on, right?
46:23They've shown that now that you can do
46:25this, you know, throughout your life,
46:27not only when you're a little kid. And
46:29so, um from when you are kind of
46:32extreme, obsessed, all in, um
46:34well, neuroplasticity depends on
46:36repetition over time. And it's improved
46:38with kind of emotional intensity. And
46:41so, when you are kind of like obsessed
46:43and devoted, I I mean, the word obsessed
46:45can it can go different ways. It might
46:47trigger some people. Um but, the way
46:48that I think about it is devotion to
46:50something devoted to your purpose and
46:52your passion. And I think that, you
46:54know, being an extreme about who you
46:56are, like, those are the people that
46:57make it. Like, those are the people that
46:58the people who are extreme about
47:00and and their goals, like, those are the
47:02people that make it. Um and it's because
47:04exactly like I was just saying, they're
47:06well, it changes your brain. It
47:07activates neuroplasticity to do that
47:09because you are focused on it all the
47:11time. You're you're strengthening those
47:13pathways for what you want. And then,
47:14your brain is then filtering your
47:16reality for opportunities, people. Like,
47:18I might meet a person be like, "Oh, that
47:19person, you know?" Or an opportunity or
47:21a person or a place, a location, an
47:24object, whatever it is. Um and so, I
47:26start filtering reality for it more. Um
47:29and then, you start to get momentum,
47:31right? And and it's it becomes your
47:33life. And
47:35uh and so, yeah, that's that's sort of
47:37the the neuroscience behind why kind of
47:40like being extreme and going all in. And
47:42I think that, you know,
47:44I've talked about this before, and
47:46people would be like, "Oh, but what
47:47about balance?" And I'm just If you want
47:49to be balanced, then you're going to get
47:50balanced results. Like, that's that's
47:52just the truth. And I think that
47:53work-life balance is kind of a scam.
47:56Um I think that the balance actually
47:58happens between the waves of life. And,
48:00you know, I would not be sitting here
48:02where I am today if I wasn't When I was
48:03in my PhD, I was getting up at 6:00 a.m.
48:06I was working out or even earlier, and I
48:08was working out, and then I was going to
48:09the research lab, doing research in the
48:10lab, and then I would go and to my own
48:13courses, and then I would go TA
48:15undergraduate courses, then I'd get
48:16home, do my homework, then grade
48:18undergrads' exams, and then uh and then
48:21do read research papers for my research,
48:23and then I would create content on the
48:24side because I was living like Hannah
48:26Montana at the time, and I was also a
48:28content creator by night. So, I There
48:30was There was no balance about that.
48:32Like, I How often did I see my friends?
48:34How often was I
48:36But, it And I was not burnt out. I was
48:38not That was one of the happiest times
48:39of my life. Like, I was so happy, and it
48:42was because all of that was fueled by
48:44purpose. And so, I think, you know, And
48:47and then, you know, I graduated and I I
48:49moved to Florida to the beach, and I had
48:51a little bit of that like, "Okay, let's
48:53enjoy what got me here for a second."
48:55And then, you know, I'm like, "All
48:56right, now I'm good. Let's get after it
48:58again and get to the next level." And
48:59so, we're going to have periods of
49:01growth and output, and then we'll have
49:03periods of input, but I think that if
49:05you're trying to balance everything all
49:07at once, then you're you're not going to
49:08be able to give your 100% to anything.
49:11And I personally am going through that
49:13like currently with writing my book.
49:14It's like, you have to let some of the
49:16balls drop on the floor in order to give
49:19your 100% to
49:21anything. And I I think that it like
49:24hearing that almost makes you be like,
49:26"It's such a relief." Like, "Okay, like,
49:27I don't have to" Like, you're talking
49:29about fitness. Like, if I'm focused on
49:31like the fitness has taken a backseat.
49:32Like, we don't have to be balanced with
49:34everything right now. Like, there can be
49:35things that I'm going to let drop on the
49:37floor for a little bit while I'm in the
49:38pursuit of something purposeful and
49:40meaningful to me.
49:41>> Yeah. Yeah, it's like, are you burnt out
49:43or you just spending too much time on
49:44things you don't really like to do with
49:45no reason why you're doing them. And I
49:47think half the time, you know, people
49:49just don't have a why big enough. And if
49:51their why was bigger, they would
49:52actually be able to do the thing that
49:53they needed to do that was right in
49:55front of them. So, I totally agree. It's
49:56It's kind of funny, too. We teach people
49:59about buying businesses a lot.
50:01And and I actually use in one of my
50:04slide decks the reticular activating
50:05system because one of my favorite
50:06mentors,
50:08he said to me
50:09>> [clears throat]
50:09>> like this incredible line.
50:11He's like,
50:12"Imagine you're walking a path
50:14and the path is littered with rocks."
50:16And he shows me a picture of a rock.
50:17It's a very ordinary-looking rock. I go,
50:19"Yeah, that's a rock." He goes, "Do you
50:20pick this rock up on your walk?" I go,
50:22"I don't know. Probably not. Seems
50:23heavy." And he goes, "Well,
50:25if you were to crack this rock open,
50:27there's all these indicators on this
50:28rock that inside of this rock is a
50:30diamond." And so, when they crack it
50:31open, they show that there's a diamond
50:32in the rock. And he goes, "The problem
50:34with you is your opportunity will always
50:36be limited by your ability to recognize
50:37it. And so, if you can't recognize
50:39opportunity around you, you'll never
50:41even realize it was there." And that's
50:43what it's like when you're looking for a
50:44deal. If you're trying to find a
50:45business, if you're trying to buy
50:46something, it isn't going to let come up
50:48and slam you in the face and you don't
50:50even know what it looks like yet. So,
50:51how can you find it when you don't know
50:53what what it looks like? I think a lot
50:55of reticular activating system that's
50:56interesting is life, the things in life
50:58that are going to make you successful,
51:00they're not a Toyota red car, which we
51:01already know what it looks like. You
51:03have to like have the reps to realize
51:05what is activating and then go after it.
51:07Just like the first time you saw a lion
51:09in the savanna, you really maybe didn't
51:11have the word for a lion. You had to
51:12kind of explain, "This thing's going to
51:13murder you." And so, I think it's so
51:15important that people understand this
51:17rewiring of the brain cuz you can change
51:19your entire perception about what's
51:20around you. With everything from success
51:22in life to buying a business, which is
51:24the weirdest of things.
51:25>> Yeah, I I was going to say like it's a
51:27perfect example because it's true for
51:28buying a business, but then also my mind
51:30immediately goes to relationships and
51:32people and you're like, "Oh, like how do
51:33you meet your soulmate? How do you
51:34attract the love of your life and all
51:36that?" I mean, I dated like a scientist
51:38and I had a very clear every with every
51:41person I dated like it was what I don't
51:42like and what I would do like that I
51:44want to carry forward that I want to add
51:46to my list of traits that I want in
51:47someone. And my fiance that with now
51:50like he checks every single box on the
51:53list. And so what you're saying with the
51:55rock is like how would I have known who
51:57I was looking for if I had not
52:00specifically described what that thing
52:03who that person was. And I think a lot
52:05of like it's true for not just business
52:07but so many different things in life
52:09like the job that you want or
52:11the relationship that you want to be in
52:13you need to be so clear about it. And
52:15exactly like you're saying like if you
52:16don't know what that looks like then it
52:18could be right in front of your face and
52:20you're you won't even realize it.
52:21>> That's why it's so important especially
52:23in this age where AI and everything is
52:24trying to distract us every seven
52:26seconds. There's just we're in a
52:27distraction machine nonstop basically.
52:30So if you can't take your brain back
52:32from this reality around us I think
52:35you're going to be in a world of hurt.
52:37So I think it's so important the work
52:38that you're doing. I know a lot of
52:39people are like oh she's a beautiful
52:41girl on the internet talking about
52:42mindset. It's like no no it's way deeper
52:44than that. Like if we can get people to
52:46actually take control of their brain and
52:47recognize it then we can take our power
52:49back from a series of machines that are
52:51incredibly adept at stealing it from us.
52:53So I'm glad you're doing the things that
52:55you're doing. And I wanted to I wanted
52:57to hit on like two other really
52:59uh
52:59really specific things.
53:01Which is in this world with all this
53:03information you're a scientist. You just
53:04said you date like a scientist. But
53:06there are so many studies. There's like
53:07a study for every side of everything.
53:09Are there tricks that you use to try to
53:12determine like this is real information?
53:14This is fake information? This is a good
53:16study? This is a bad study?
53:18>> I will say when I was in my PhD we had a
53:21whole class where it was literally just
53:24different person would present a
53:26different study every single week and we
53:27would just tear it apart. So every study
53:30has flaws. And I was one of the I've
53:33been the person doing them. So
53:34[laughter]
53:35and and I know personally that they're
53:36done by humans and humans are by
53:39definition imperfect. And so
53:41every study is going to have its flaws,
53:43which I think is why it's important I
53:45think even more important than looking
53:47at one study versus another is looking
53:49at many over the same topic. And so, for
53:52me, when I am wanting to dive into, you
53:55know, like a topic, I read many studies
53:59and many articles and if possible a
54:01meta-analysis, which is sort of like a
54:03summarization of a ton of different
54:06studies. And I think that's the way that
54:07you can actually And then there are
54:10journals that are, you know, {quote}
54:11{unquote} better than others. Like, if
54:13it's published in Nature Neuroscience,
54:15then it's probably pretty good. Um it's
54:17probably a pretty cool study. But then
54:18also, there have been studies like there
54:20was this one study that we looked at
54:22that was in Nature Neuroscience that was
54:24a rat hide-and-go-seek game. And so,
54:27there it's not It's not so clear-cut. I
54:29think sample size is extremely
54:31important. And so, when you're reading a
54:32study and you you're looking you want to
54:34know whether or not it's good, you can
54:36look at sample size. And if it has, you
54:38know, few like less than I don't I don't
54:41want to give a specific number, but if
54:43there are few participants, then it's
54:45more like there are outliers in every
54:47single study. So, it's I think it's
54:49important to look at studies with giant
54:52sample sizes. Those are better. Um and
54:55if if there's if it's a small sample
54:57size, then I think it's also just um
54:59important to be aware of that. Like, it
55:00doesn't mean that oh, this study's
55:02wrong. Like, there's this one study that
55:03I really like and it's a very small
55:05sample size, but also, you know, I
55:07recognize that it's on the frequency 528
55:10hertz, which is a solfeggio frequency
55:12and in the spiritual kind of side of
55:13things, um it's correlated like we think
55:15of the heart chakra. And like in the
55:17spiritual world, that's what that is.
55:19And so, of course, there's not going to
55:20be a ton of studies on that, but there
55:22is a very small study um that shows that
55:25actually it can have the ability to
55:26reduce cortisol and relieve anxiety and
55:28stress. And I've actually found in
55:30people that I work with that it's
55:32extremely effective with people. And so,
55:35I think that
55:36it's important to recognize also that,
55:38like I said, there are outliers in every
55:40single study and it's and I I like that
55:42you bring up AI and and I think in in
55:45this age, it's not just about AI, it's
55:46just about information in general and
55:48being tuned into your own intuition and
55:51knowing that, okay, this there might be
55:53a meta-analysis and a billion studies
55:55showing this one thing, but actually my
55:57intuition is telling me this and this
56:00other thing actually works for me better
56:02and it's that's okay, too. That doesn't
56:04mean that you like you might just not
56:06fall into this specific category. So, I
56:08think on like being able to listen to
56:10your intuition and being in tune with
56:12yourself is one of the most powerful
56:13things that you can do.
56:15>> Yeah, I like it and checking your facts,
56:17too. You know, I think I saw a video the
56:19other day I don't I don't know if you
56:20saw it. It was like kind of like an old
56:22Eastern European, maybe Japanese looking
56:24monk and
56:27and he had this study that he was
56:28talking about about how
56:30when a woman in in Feng Shui philosophy,
56:34if if a woman is laying often, you know,
56:37in her house out of laziness
56:39>> I know exactly what you're talking
56:40about.
56:40>> Yeah, and
56:40>> [laughter]
56:41>> and you know, sleeping too much and
56:43lazing about that actually according to
56:45Feng Shui, this is good. She is bringing
56:47like calm and peace to her household and
56:50blah blah blah blah. Whole study. I
56:51watch it and I'm like
56:54this can't be true. And then I see how
56:55many it's like 3 million views, 300,000
56:58shares
57:00and I look at the comments and
57:00everybody's like, oh, exactly. I knew
57:02it, you know, so it's a lot of
57:04confirmation bias.
57:04>> Yeah.
57:05>> And lo and behold, one, the study's not
57:08true. I look it up online. Of course,
57:09there's no such thing as like Feng Shui
57:11laze about strategy. And then two, it's
57:14AI. It's not even a real human. It's
57:16actually created it's it's just like
57:18some AI derived monk who now has 2
57:20million followers online.
57:21>> I've seen those videos. I know exactly
57:23what you're talking about.
57:23>> Well, and I've seen them rip yours off.
57:25So, I've even seen ones where there's
57:26[laughter] like and I, you know, I've
57:27obviously seen it with me, too, but like
57:29I've seen where well, take something
57:30that you say, twist the words slightly,
57:32recreate it, but it looks just like a
57:34woman. There's just something tiny bit
57:36off where I can kind of tell it's AI,
57:38but increasingly that that idea of
57:39intuition and then double-checking is so
57:41important because holy hell, they're
57:44going to be able to just,
57:45you know, take information from
57:47everywhere and and really make us
57:48question things, which is why I think
57:50it's important like that you've trained,
57:52you have a background in this. I don't
57:53think that's the only way we should
57:54judge people, but man, we got to have
57:56some sort of collar.
57:57>> Yeah, and I think that's where in my
57:59content especially, I I love a good
58:01study here and there to describe
58:03something that I'm talking about, but a
58:05lot of my content, I would say
58:07most of it is really more [snorts] on
58:10the scientific principles and
58:12foundations of the way that the brain
58:14works. Like, I'm not over here like, oh,
58:16this study. I do have some content like
58:18that when I'm finding out something
58:20cool, but [snorts]
58:22I I really like to talk more about like,
58:24for example, the default mode network
58:27and, you know, kind of what we know
58:29about the way that it works and then
58:30extrapolate that to something that we go
58:32through in life. And I'm like, this is
58:34what, you know, neuroscience explains
58:36about the brain and then this is how we
58:38can use it rather than just being like,
58:39oh, this study shows this, so this is
58:41the way that it is.
58:42>> Yeah, it's smart. Let's [laughter] Let's
58:43end on two things. Um,
58:46if people use AI frequently now, are we
58:48seeing anything in brain science about
58:51that having a negative effect on their
58:52brain? Are you tracking this at all?
58:54>> Yes, so there's a a kind of, I mean,
58:56it's got to be recent, right? It's kind
58:58of new, but it's a study
59:00out of MIT that's shown that, okay, they
59:03had people
59:05use AI versus Google versus nothing to
59:08write essays. And what they found was
59:10that over time it led people that used
59:12AI specifically,
59:13like less engagement in their brain,
59:16less activation, and overall less
59:18critical thinking.
59:19Yeah, less It shows that over time we
59:22have a decrease in critical thinking
59:23abilities. And I I make that point
59:26specifically and I like that study
59:27because I talked about on social media
59:29about hey AI is cooking our brains, and
59:32people were like, "Oh, but how is that
59:34different from Google?" And it's a lot
59:36different because when you're Googling
59:38something, you're having multiple
59:40sources come up and multiple results,
59:43and you have to read through those
59:44results and then come to your own
59:46consensus. That takes critical thinking
59:49ability and logical thought, and AI
59:51doesn't work like that. It's ask a
59:53question and here you go. This is it. Um
59:56even if you ask it for multiple things,
59:57multiple kind of sources, it's still
59:59summarizing these multiple sources. It's
1:00:01doing all of the critical thinking for
1:00:03you and taking any of that out of the
1:00:05equation. And I think, you know, beyond
1:00:07that, one step further, kind of tying in
1:00:09the intuition point of it as well, and
1:00:11this is from my own experience. Most of
1:00:13my content is from my own experience,
1:00:14and then I'm like, "Huh, I wonder how
1:00:16this is affecting my brain." I I
1:00:17remember I was sitting and I was
1:00:19actually trying to make content, and I
1:00:20was like, "Why am I blanking?" And I had
1:00:23realized that, you know, a practice that
1:00:25I have in my life that is extremely
1:00:27helpful,
1:00:28it's helpful for my creativity, for
1:00:30being in tune with myself, for, you
1:00:32know, making content, but also just, you
1:00:35know, being ordered in my own brain, is
1:00:38talking to myself. Like, I always, if
1:00:40I'm driving, if I'm going for a walk, I
1:00:43will straight up be like, "Am, how are
1:00:44we feeling?" And I'll be like, "Oh, this
1:00:46is how I feel right now." I'm like,
1:00:47"Okay, like, where are you on your way
1:00:48to?" I will literally talk to myself
1:00:50like I am talking to my best friend and
1:00:52be like, "Oh, like, I'm like feeling a
1:00:53little anxious right now, a little
1:00:54overwhelmed." "Oh, why are you feeling
1:00:55that way?" And literally have a
1:00:57conversation with myself. What I stopped
1:00:59do I stopped doing that kind of when AI
1:01:01and ChatGPT came out because
1:01:03there's this external brain that I can
1:01:05go and have a conversation with, and so
1:01:07it doesn't have to be by myself. And at
1:01:08first, that was great, but what I
1:01:09started to realize was over time, I
1:01:11wasn't That takes you out of connection
1:01:14with yourself and your own intuition.
1:01:16and and it trains dependence, not
1:01:19intelligence. Um, so I stopped doing
1:01:21that, and I'm back on talking to myself
1:01:23uh when I realized that.
1:01:25Talking [laughter] to yourself crying in
1:01:27the gym is how I pictured you now.
1:01:29Cuz that's literally me like driving in
1:01:30the car and I'm like I'm
1:01:31>> [laughter]
1:01:31>> like oh yeah. And people [gasps]
1:01:33definitely think I'm on the phone, but
1:01:35I'm not. And sometimes if I'm going for
1:01:37a walk I'll put headphones in so people
1:01:39think I'm on the phone, but I'm fully
1:01:41just talking to myself. And it's it's so
1:01:43powerful, you know, and um it's great.
1:01:46And I I come to the most amazing
1:01:48realizations and like um so solutions to
1:01:51things and you know and just thinking
1:01:53about
1:01:55just so many different things about life
1:01:56doing this and I'll I'll have the most
1:01:59incredible
1:02:00realizations. And I I remember I mean I
1:02:02tell my fiance I'm like oh like I I had
1:02:04a realization. He's like oh what a
1:02:06surprise cuz I I I have at least before
1:02:08AI I would have one at least once a day
1:02:10that was life-changing. Like literally
1:02:11life-changing shifting the way that I
1:02:13think. And then after that so yeah I I
1:02:15don't I don't do it anymore. I actually
1:02:17talk to myself and then if I want to
1:02:19I'll kind of do a voice memo recording
1:02:21of that whole session talking to myself.
1:02:23And you can just copy the transcripts,
1:02:24put in the chat GPT, and then just have
1:02:26it bullet point everything out cuz I
1:02:28still do like to have it visually, but
1:02:30um it cuz I like to analyze myself like
1:02:32that.
1:02:33>> [laughter]
1:02:33>> But uh but yeah I think outside of sort
1:02:37of you know reducing our ability for to
1:02:39critically think um it it it trains
1:02:42dependence on something outside of
1:02:44ourselves. And something that I tell
1:02:45people in Minecraft all the time in my
1:02:47program is you know all of the answers
1:02:50are within you. Like if you are in tune
1:02:52with yourself and your own intuition
1:02:53like people will ask me and there's no
1:02:55such thing as a dumb question, but
1:02:57people will ask me questions and I'm
1:02:59like why are you asking me that? Like
1:03:01that is a question for yourself and
1:03:03that's a question that only you can
1:03:04answer. Like I can't sit here and tell
1:03:05you what to do. Um you need to like do
1:03:08what's aligned with your own intuition
1:03:09and
1:03:10and you know I think with AI we're
1:03:13almost training outsourcing ourselves.
1:03:15>> I think yeah. I'm actually I have a
1:03:17couple friends that have like therapy
1:03:19apps, I guess, uh that are AI-based.
1:03:23And I just can't get get on board. I
1:03:24just can't. And even if they're talking
1:03:26back to you, I do think that, you know,
1:03:29this idea of being able to work through
1:03:30your own thoughts, and then maybe you
1:03:32could go later to something and say
1:03:33like, is there a historical precedents
1:03:34for this? Like, what does this mean in
1:03:36my brain? Are there some ideas? But, the
1:03:38idea that every time you're feeling
1:03:39something, you talk to a machine that is
1:03:41already pre-programmed to be relatively
1:03:45narcissistic, and that it wants you. It
1:03:47basically is like, as my friend Arthur
1:03:49Brooks would call it a a dark triad
1:03:51narcissist, which is it wants attention,
1:03:53cuz it is programmed for more use.
1:03:54That's how it makes more money, aka how
1:03:56the platforms make more money as you use
1:03:58it more. Um it's programmed to actually
1:04:01give you positive feedback, because that
1:04:02increases your intention loop. And it's
1:04:04also programmed for confirmation bias,
1:04:07because then you'll use it more. And so,
1:04:08you know, I remember I was using Claude
1:04:10the other day, and I'm a huge AI fan for
1:04:11building things. Like, building things,
1:04:14it's unparalleled. Nothing has ever
1:04:15existed like it. It will remove human
1:04:18like monotony in a way that I don't
1:04:19think we're ever prepared We're we're
1:04:21we're not prepared for it. Um but, when
1:04:23it comes to critical thinking, I would
1:04:24never use it. I mean, I went to Claude
1:04:26the other day, and um it was when the
1:04:28Claude code or Claude co-work just came
1:04:30out, which is basically um it's it's a
1:04:33way for you to code without actually
1:04:34coding. And so, anyway, um if anybody
1:04:37wasn't wasn't aware. And so, uh I went
1:04:39in there, and I started using it.
1:04:41Had never used the thing before. I'd
1:04:42used Claude in intermittently, so it
1:04:44couldn't be very trained on me
1:04:45personally. But, I was asking for some
1:04:47sort of uh data on something in the
1:04:49business. Like, "Hey, this is happening,
1:04:51I think it's this reason. Um you know,
1:04:52we we need to go deeper into, I don't
1:04:54know, lead capture." Like, whatever.
1:04:55"We're not we're not having the
1:04:56conversion that we want." Let's just
1:04:57pretend like that was it.
1:04:59And so, it gives me this whole thing,
1:05:01and um I ask it to look at a bunch of
1:05:02data. It gives me a bunch of data back,
1:05:04and a lot of opinions.
1:05:06And I didn't ask it for opinions. I
1:05:07asked it for data. And the opinions were
1:05:09really fascinating. They were very
1:05:10strong. And at the end And I said like
1:05:13give me like multiple different modes of
1:05:14this, lots of different pathways. Like
1:05:17what do we think these things could be?
1:05:18And at the end, it literally gave me an
1:05:20opinion and it was like, you need to
1:05:21stop
1:05:23planning and worrying about this so much
1:05:25and make a decision. Like you're fully
1:05:26capable of this.
1:05:28And I was like, the am I asking
1:05:30your opinion for? And then I was like
1:05:32and then I was like, please cite your
1:05:34sources. I don't see any of the sources
1:05:36cited. Where are these from? And you're
1:05:38like, and it apologized. It was like,
1:05:39you're right, I'm sorry. I made those
1:05:41numbers up. And I screenshotted it. It
1:05:43was so ludicrous. I sent it to the CEO.
1:05:45I was like, the is this? And he's
1:05:47like, we're working on it.
1:05:48>> [laughter]
1:05:49>> No, I mean I've I I I've when I was
1:05:51fresh out the PhD and I was doing
1:05:53something I remember I was talking to it
1:05:55about something about like one of the
1:05:57research projects. I think actually it
1:05:58was while I was in my PhD and it
1:06:00straight up was wrong and it will it
1:06:02will it will straight up answer
1:06:03incorrectly.
1:06:05And and yeah, so I think when it comes
1:06:06to certain things, I mean it's
1:06:08definitely like it's not always correct
1:06:11and you need to double check it. But
1:06:12yeah, I think it and I don't want to
1:06:14demonize it though because like you
1:06:15said, it is it can be very helpful. Like
1:06:18I know like my business partner uses it
1:06:20a lot for different things and it's
1:06:21great. And it's even been great for me
1:06:23and it's it's helpful it's helpful for
1:06:25even like organization and things like
1:06:26that. And like you said, like monotony
1:06:28and just different like admin tasks,
1:06:30it's very helpful.
1:06:31But when it comes to yeah, being doing
1:06:34the things that humans do best, which is
1:06:36also like being creative and and
1:06:39thinking critically, it's it's really
1:06:41important. And I think also we're moving
1:06:43into this new age where imperfection and
1:06:45I think I think one of the greatest
1:06:47things that AI is actually teaching us
1:06:49is the beauty in imperfection. Like I
1:06:52think, you know, when we hear a video or
1:06:54a script that's written by AI, we can we
1:06:57we don't feel as connected. It feels a
1:06:59little disconnected. It doesn't feel,
1:07:00you know, and and it's almost showing us
1:07:04that imperfection and we've always
1:07:06heard, you know, oh there's like
1:07:07imperfection is beautiful and all that
1:07:08and we've heard that, but I think AI is
1:07:11actually showing us that that there
1:07:13actually is so much beauty in
1:07:15imperfection.
1:07:15>> Yeah. Well, okay, here's what I want to
1:07:17close out on. This is selfishly for me,
1:07:18but it's been so fun watching your
1:07:20content journey. And I was curious, you
1:07:23know, you're at like basically 2 million
1:07:24followers now on Instagram. You've been
1:07:26doing this for 2 years, right?
1:07:28>> Like 2 and 1/2.
1:07:29>> 2 and 1/2. Amazing. [laughter]
1:07:31And
1:07:33and you're growing like crazy. You have
1:07:34incredible engagement. You take complex
1:07:36topics really simply. And I was
1:07:39wondering how much of your content do
1:07:40you use like neuroscience and how we
1:07:42think about things into even the way
1:07:44that you communicate?
1:07:46>> Not at all.
1:07:47>> Really?
1:07:48>> Not at all, surprisingly. And I have
1:07:50people that have asked me like, oh, is
1:07:52there a reason that you do you move this
1:07:53way and you I'm like, no. I'm I am like
1:07:58I said throughout this episode like I
1:08:00was diagnosed with ADHD in high school
1:08:02and so the way that I share content is
1:08:04very much how I would want to hear it.
1:08:06And that's just I make it for me and I I
1:08:09like my assistant my full-time assistant
1:08:11is my best friend since high school and
1:08:13she loves my content, too. And so if I
1:08:15have an idea or something cool that I
1:08:18learn, I will literally call her up and
1:08:19tell her about it and the way that I
1:08:21tell her is the way that I make the
1:08:22video because if I can make her
1:08:24understand it and keep her engaged, then
1:08:28I know it will work for the audience.
1:08:29And so for me it's yeah, I don't I've
1:08:32been I've been kind of people have asked
1:08:34like, oh, are you using like
1:08:35psychological none of it at all. It's
1:08:38it's really just whatever I'm excited
1:08:40and lit up about and I found that the
1:08:41content that does best is the content
1:08:44that I'm the most excited about. It's
1:08:46whenever I'm energized behind an idea,
1:08:48those are the ideas that do great. Like
1:08:50the extreme one, the one about the
1:08:51neuroscience why I need to be extreme
1:08:53like I had just done a whole coaching
1:08:54call on that and I got off the call and
1:08:55I was like, I need to make a video about
1:08:56this. Didn't even really think it
1:08:57through, just recorded it and then it
1:08:59had like 12 million views. So, yeah,
1:09:02there's there's no real kind of like
1:09:04psychological tricks
1:09:05>> It's a good road map. Like the idea of
1:09:08you need to be excited about what you're
1:09:09creating. If you don't want it, nobody
1:09:11else probably will.
1:09:11>> Right.
1:09:12>> And I love testing it past another
1:09:13human. I like having one human that
1:09:16you're talking to as opposed to,
1:09:19you know, you're talking to 2 million
1:09:20people. Well, that's kind of like this
1:09:21amorphous thing.
1:09:23>> Yeah. I think the type of people, and
1:09:25this is true for not just me content
1:09:26creating, but anyone having goals or in
1:09:29in general,
1:09:30um is it definitely important the type
1:09:31of person that you run it by? Like my
1:09:33fiance, for example, he there's been
1:09:36times where he's completely not on the
1:09:38same page. He's just [laughter] And I'll
1:09:40say it and he'll be like, "I don't know
1:09:41about that." Like there was one video
1:09:43where I wanted to create a like I call
1:09:44it my armpit video, but it's about, you
1:09:46know, like your armpits don't stink
1:09:48because of sweat. They smell because
1:09:50there are there's bacteria that lives in
1:09:52your armpits that breaks down the sweat
1:09:54into smelly molecules. That's actually
1:09:56why. And um and knowing that for me
1:09:58personally, I have very sensitive skin
1:10:00at least in my armpits. And so, I've
1:10:01always I've had to use like either
1:10:03special deodorant or just straight up
1:10:04hand sanitizer. And if you use hand
1:10:05sanitizer, it actually kills the
1:10:07bacteria on your skin, and then your
1:10:09sweat doesn't get broken down into the
1:10:10smelly chemicals, and you just straight
1:10:12up don't smell. And so, I wanted to make
1:10:14a video about that. And he was like,
1:10:15"Why would you make a video about that?"
1:10:17>> [laughter]
1:10:18>> Uh but but that video like popped off
1:10:20and it did great. And I was like,
1:10:21"Because I'm excited about it." And I'm
1:10:24like it's some a little cool scientific
1:10:26fact. And um and so, yeah, I think I
1:10:29just say that because, you know, there
1:10:30are people that you're going to tell
1:10:32your ideas to, your goals to, your
1:10:33dreams to, who are not going to get it.
1:10:36And that doesn't mean that it's not a
1:10:37good idea or a good goal. I think that's
1:10:39where And it that doesn't even mean it's
1:10:41a bad person, right? Like this is
1:10:42straight up my fiance that I'm we're
1:10:43talking about. And he loves me. And so,
1:10:46but my best friend, she's on the wave,
1:10:48right? Like she thinks about things the
1:10:49way that I do. She's very into, you
1:10:51know, spirituality, neuroscience,
1:10:52manifestation, all of that. And so, it's
1:10:54also, you know, running it by someone
1:10:56who can who gets it. And I think it's
1:10:59also okay, right, that there are people
1:11:01that aren't going to get it, too. That
1:11:03drives engagement. And so, that's where,
1:11:05you know, you know, I think I was
1:11:07reading The Creative Act by Rick Rubin,
1:11:08and he was saying like, "The best art
1:11:10polarizes people. And if everybody um if
1:11:13everyone thinks it's beautiful, then you
1:11:14probably haven't gone far enough." And
1:11:16there's a quote that I love, and it's
1:11:17like, "If everyone you tell your dreams
1:11:19to can understand them, then you're
1:11:20dreaming too small." And it's all it all
1:11:23kind of goes hand in hand, right? And
1:11:24so, it's actually like a great thing if
1:11:26people don't get it. Uh it means that
1:11:28you're on the right track.
1:11:29>> So good. Yeah, if your parents
1:11:31understand what you do for a living,
1:11:32you're probably not thinking big enough.
1:11:34I love it. M on the Brain on all the
1:11:35socials. Is that right? Is it M on the
1:11:37Brain on YouTube, too?
1:11:39>> Yeah.
1:11:39>> Yeah. Oh, well, on YouTube, it's mainly
1:11:41just my podcast, which is Planet M.
1:11:43>> That's what it
1:11:44>> Yeah. So, I do have an M on the Brain
1:11:45YouTube channel. Um it's they're really
1:11:48old videos from when I first started
1:11:49out, which maybe maybe you want to go
1:11:51and see the beginning of my journey.
1:11:53>> [laughter]
1:11:54>> But yeah, it's if you want to like watch
1:11:56my podcast on YouTube, then it's Planet
1:11:58M.
1:11:58>> That's amazing. [clears throat] And the
1:11:59business is Mind Craft.
1:12:01>> Mind Craft.
1:12:02>> Thank you so much for coming [laughter]
1:12:03on the podcast. This was amazing.
1:12:05>> Thank you for having me. I've had so
1:12:06much [music] fun.

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